Dragon Con 2023: Notes
I had a good time this year and was much more prepared for the Con than last year. I made good use of the free mentor sessions and made a lot of connections throughout the con.
Below are notes, primarily for myself, but to anyone else who is reading it, I hope you find it useful.
Saturday Mentor Sessions
John G. Hartness
I showed him a copy of my Query letter that I sent out in July 2022. His at-a-glance feedback was that it was too long. He told me to keep it around three paragraphs. He liked the 2nd and 4th paragraphs and told me to move the fourth paragraph up to the top. In the 4th paragraph, I need to add in the Target Audience, round up the word count, and change the genre because Psychedelic Fantasy isn’t technically a real genre. Another good note was to write the most common spellings of words, despite how they appear in my manuscript. For example: jinn into djinn, and magick into magic.
He mentioned Isidore’s name sounding feminine. And we talked at length about the age of Isidore (9) being difficult to sell. He told me that a child that young makes the book middle grade and that my word count was too long for that age range. He acknowledged that the book was intended to be Adult Fantasy and that starting young with a protagonist and aging them up is doable and has been done, but isn’t currently popular on the market. My book is somewhat of a hard sell, which is the feedback I received last year. To help with Isidore, he gave me a book recommendation: Will Wight’s Cradle
A really interesting piece of advice he gave me went something like this, “Don’t self-publish because you couldn’t get it published. Self-publish because that’s what you want to do.”
He also told me to shop my work to New York before looking at mid-level presses. Take your shot.
Darin Kennedy
I showed Darin my general Query Letter for Book of Sand. He liked the first line but made me elaborate on what it meant. He told me to keep that in mind for the books and to make sure that it was solid and understandable. He liked that it foreshadowed the protagonist’s mental state and he picked up that Isidore was going insane.
He said the first line of the second paragraph was too vague. He seemed to like the contents of the second paragraph, but when we got to the third, told me that it was more important to move that up since it's another character. The word ‘Amirah’ made him stumble so I should probably change that to ‘princess’. Like John said, the first three paragraphs need to be condensed, and paragraph four needs to be moved up to the top.
We talked a bit about the characters, and I mentioned that the letter doesn’t even include the third POV character. We discussed how often the POV switches, and the novel length. He drew that wonderful line chart on the bottom of one of the pages and we discussed character arcs- he didn’t seem to think it was bad that the second POV character came in at the midpoint. Instead, he told me to cut the book in half at the midpoint POV switch. That would make Book 1 Isidore’s, and Book 2 Muizza’s, with occasional POV from Isidore. I was already considering this, so it's nice that someone intuitively picked up that natural narrative break. (My beta reader Ridley Harker also gave me similar advice)
He made me explain some of my plot to him, which made me realize that I need to work on concisely summarizing my story. He seemed to like the title and told me to carry the theme into the next book. He suggested Book of Leaves.
Patrick Dugan
I also gave Patrick my Query Letter to look at. Again, he said it was too long. We discussed Isidore’s age, and he said to simply not mention it. Again, move paragraph four up, and personalize it as much as possible. He said that the personalization doesn’t have to be formal like, “We met at a con,” it can be as simple as, “I follow you on Twitter and see you like X type of books,” or “I saw you were looking for this on Manuscript wish list.”
He also told me to mention that the book has LGBTQ themes (because it does), and to not be afraid to mention that I’m a Trans/Gay author. He said that #OwnVoice is popular and that I shouldn’t shy away from that.
I showed him my new pitch, and he told me that it was in a better direction because it had all 3 characters in it, and was significantly shorter. He said that I need to tell the goal and the stakes if the goal is not achieved. For example: Isidore is fleeing mage hunters. If he doesn’t get to the Hidden City, he will be burned at the stake.
Also, he said Name of the Wind was too old and too popular to be a good comp title.
He also suggested that I look at Query Shark to see some good and bad examples of Queries.
Then we talked about self-publishing. I’m trying to decide if I want to go that route and I’ve been leaning hard toward that with my Book of Sand series. I wrote my Vampire book with the intention of self-publishing, so I could test the waters. He told me about his experience in the traditional publishing world and gave me the confidence to go either route. He told me that if he were me, he would query the book for a set amount of time, then if it got no bites, begin the self-publishing route.
Copy of my Generic Cover Letter
Sunday Mentor Sessions
K.N. Lee
The first thing we talked about was how many works she had published and her schedule.
After that, we moved into talking about romance and I told her about my Vampire Romance and the issue I’m having getting two of the characters together. She told me to lean into the Horror part of the horror romance and to pair the villain with the Protagonist. She said to consider doing enemies to lovers and suggested I give glimpses to humanize the villain. She also loved a lot of the underlying psychological themes in the book and told me to build them up and not shy away from them.
We had time so I asked her to read the first page of Book of Sand. She gave me positive feedback, saying that she liked the mood and atmosphere. She marked a repeated grammatical error and explained it to me. Here is an example:
“I really love cheese.” He said. — “I really love cheese,” he said.
The second is the correct way to write it. If the action continues, use a ‘,’
Lastly, she gave me two recommendations, K. Webster and Dave Farland, I think for a good enemy-to-lovers example.
She told me to pay attention to hashtags like #pitmad and #pitmas
Storm Humbert
I gave Storm my first page as well. He writes a lot of short fiction and had a lot of feedback on varying my sentence length. He said (and is right) that I tend to write long sentences. His first bit of feedback was to write short fiction to at least learn how to make every word count. A lot of his markups on the page were editing notes for that.
He told me to kill all my adjectives. He said an adjective is a stand-in, and indicates a weak verb. Example:
He stepped quietly to the door. Vs. He tiptoed to the door.
Maybe not the best example, but you get the point. For the record, he said I didn’t have many, but to kill the few I did have.
Most importantly, he talked about the writing concept of “clearing your throat,” he said to cut the first and last chapters because typically the story starts in chapter two (chapter one is the author clearing their throat). So, he looked at chapter two and confirmed that it was stronger and was the real start.
He recommended the book, About Writing, by Samuel R. Delany for the 12 rules on writing concise sentences.
Also, The Making of a Story, by Alice LaPlante.
We talked about the 8% rule. By 8% in, we should know what the character lives and dies for.
He also encouraged me to look at Writers of the Future and other short fiction contests. He said to take periodic breaks to write short fiction because it is a good way to write more, practice being concise, get paid, get published, and get seen.
Darin Kennedy
I saw Darin again and asked him to read my first page. He liked my first page, and even called out a few lines for being nice. We discussed some grammatical things, and he gave me a handful of editing notes. He told me to restructure the first paragraph, lead with the fourth line, and add the other stuff in after because it established the setting.
I told him Storm’s notes, which he agreed with, and we discussed prologues and slow starts. He said it was not necessary to cut the first chapter, but he typically cuts those things too. He read the second chapter and agreed that it was the stronger start.
He told me to look for filter words and passive voice. I didn’t have a lot, but to kill the little bit I still had.
Cecilia Dominic
Cecilia is a real witch and was dressed so cute. Her whole vibe was awesome. I was a bit tired and manic by the time I got to her, so I wasn’t able to make the best use of my time. Luckily, she did give me her card- she has author coaching sessions.
I asked her about my Vampire novel and the issue I’m currently having with the two characters who are supposed to fall in love but are more like two kindergarteners. I expressed that the sex is happening between the villain and the protagonist, instead of with the love interest. We talked about the dynamics of each relationship and how the two are opposite each other. She told me to make sure I’m showing the ‘firsts’ of everything. First touch, hug, glance, laugh, kiss, dance- and so on. She told me to watch a new Sandra Bullock movie on Amazon, but she could remember the name. She also told me to look up, ‘Anatomy of a Genre’, and ‘Romancing the Beat.’
She also stressed the show the emotional growth of the characters. The line between porn and erotic is the growth. And, she told me if the characters are struggling to be intimate, to play that up and make their first sex scene awkward. That can help show growth and trust between the two.
Lisa Manifold
I gave up my time slot with Lisa to someone who hadn’t signed up. So I need to reach out to her and introduce myself.
Panels & Organic Meetings
Ben Meeks
I met him at his booth, where he featured a bunch of indie authors. I was there to pick up Bob McGough’s, The Demon’s that Huant Him, and Cambria William’s, The Befallen. (Both of them are awesome, and I need to follow up)
We discussed books that are ‘Hard Sells’, and the Pros of Self Publishing. He gave me his contact information for author coaching.
Steven Saffle & the Editor Panel
I saw him at the Editor Panel, “Editor Here, Editor There: So Much Red Ink that It Looks Like Blood!”. He is opening up to freelance editing and we talked briefly after his panel. I have his email, and I want to reach out to him for Book of Sand.
The other people on that panel were: James A. Hunter, Lezli Robyn, Anne Sowards, Jacob Weisman, and Trisha J. Wooldrige.
I want to follow up with Anne who is an acquisitions editor for Penguin (if I remember correctly), and Lezli who is an editor at a mid-level press (also if I remember correctly.)
I overheard a conversation with an audience member and Anne. She introduced herself as an agent, so I approached her after the panel. She gave me her card, told me what she represented, and when she would next be open for submissions.
*Future Eli, her card is under the Pan statue. I marked in your year planner when she said she would be open. Act quick because she said she gets swamped day one.
Dragon Con 2022
My mentor was David B. Coe, who got the most panicked and manic version of me. He told me that if I’m writing a series, to at the very least write the synopsis of all the books in the series. I’m still working on that.
Stuart Jaffe gave me great advice after a panel. He told me to not be discouraged if I couldn’t sell my first book and put it in the freezer and write a bunch more- that I would grow as an author and probably be thankful I didn’t sell my first book.
So I took his advice and began on two other projects.