Logline: What’s a Great Pitch? PT. 1
“A single sentence pitch that conveys the hook and essence of your story…” –Reedsy
The other day, I joined a writing group. We shared our current WIP’s and shortly after someone asked me,
“What’s your elevator pitch for the horror erotica?”
An easy question, what is my book about? But I didn’t have an answer. I planned to self-publish this work and hadn’t taken the time to think about it. I realized that even self-published books need to have coherent pitches. You have to sell directly to readers and need to have a brief and interesting way to hook a potential buyer.
So I wrote a quick one-line pitch, which was met with tepid reactions. I had unhooked a group of potential readers with a generic pitch. This leaves me wondering…
What makes a good pitch?
I’ll refer to the ‘elevator pitch’ as a logline from here on out
“It’s not about describing all the elements of the story or summarizing the entire story in one line with all the themes, elements, and plot... It’s what is unique about your book. What is different about the story that would make a reader want to read it?... It is the premise, essential idea, or enticing element of the plot. It should give the reader a sense of what to expect going in.”
What Not to Include in a Logline
It is not a Tagline. ex. “She turns to face the future in a world that falling apart.” —Divergent
It should not be/include a rhetorical question
It is not an explanation of the entire book
It is not deadpan or without tone
It should not include vague emotional statements and/or general platitudes.
“She will learn the true meaning of love.”
“In a world where things are not as they seem”
“Has their life turned upside down”
What to Include in a Logline
The Setting
The Protagonist (use a key indicator but do not name them) with a problem
The Goal and Conflict
Consider contradicting elements to show natural tension
Establish the stakes
Their Choice/Active Decision Making
Tyler Mowery’s Formula
A logline should include each element: Main Character, Inciting Incident, Goal, Stakes
“When the MAIN CHARACTER suffers INCITING INCIDENT, they must ACHIEVE GOAL before STAKES.”
Shows the two sides of the conflict, and how they are in conflict. These must directly oppose eachother
On one side is the Main Character and their Goal
On the other is the Inciting Incident and the Stakes
Main Character: a specific and short description that highlights an aspect of the character that has contrast, importance, or interest.
Inciting Incident: The first plot problem your character has to face. It sets the story in motion. This problem must directly oppose who your main character is.
Goal: Don’t be vague. It must be clear, easy to understand and pass or fail. It must be related to the problem posed by the inciting incident. If you are struggling to define the goal, make it about finding, saving, defeating, rescuing, a specific character.
Stakes: What will happen to your character if they fail at their goal?
Watch Tyler’s Video HERE
After my research today, I think I understand why my pitch was lacking. I looked at a lot of resources, but Tyler’s breakdown resonated the most with me. So I’ll be looking at the Logline primarily through that lens.
Caleb's darkest impulses are satiated by a Vampiress whose hidden cost makes him choose between love or an eternity of wicked pleasures.
Main Character: Caleb is vague. No one knows who that is yet. Reedys suggested that you do not use names of your protagonist, and instead use Key Indicators.
Inciting Incident: Again, this is vague. What are his dark impulses? What happens? Additionally, there is no direct conflict set up between these two parts.
Goals: No goals are established.
Stakes: This is one of the vague emotional statements that was on the “Do Not Do” list. It’s generic and doesn’t tell the reader anything. With no goals, there is no tension shown.
All FOUR of these elements should be linked by natural conflict, however they are not. From the information I’ve gathered, let’s take a stab at rewriting this.
The next piece of this process might contain spoilers for my upcoming Standalone Horror-Erotica, Stagnant Water.
Thank you for reading and thank you for your ongoing support. Stay tuned as we fine tune this logline!